my jogging diary 4…. changing the past

Van Gogh Never Saw The Future by Aja Trier

What I would not give to be able to change the past. Just imagine what I could have done differently. How I could have made better decisions or enjoyed certain life experiences more than I did. I can see in my mind’s eye how much different my life could have been if I had been able to see things from a different perspective during the past seasons.

I do however realize the absurdity of the notion. The past can’t be changed, the time machine from the Back to the Future movies only exists on the big screen. I don’t have any way of going back.

But what if I can change the past, not the past, past, but the future past?

I am starting to understand that by learning from my past I can implement the lessons into the life I live today, how I interact with other people, the choices I make, and the things I choose to spend my time on. Every action I take today can change the past that I will look back on tomorrow.

We can change the future past by changing our thoughts and actions today.

This really excites me, the feeling that I can change my future past. Knowing that I have an influence on the past I will be looking back on over six or twelve years from now. It gives some control and responsibility back into my hands. It tells me that I need to wake up. Stand up. Make mindful decisions. Live my life in a way that when I look back on it, it will be well with my soul.

This is why looking back is just as important as looking forward. Looking at the past gives us the opportunity to learn the lessons that crossed our paths while looking forward creates hope and the two together strengthen faith.

I love what Berne Brown writes about hope and faith:

“Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but hope is really a thought process. Hope happens when we have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go). We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I’m persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again). We believe in ourselves (I can do this!).”

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”

With this new perspective, I try to live my life in the moment and by faith, with hope and love as guideposts for the choices I make. I endeavor to live a life I will be able to look back on and be grateful for, as a life well lived with vulnerability and authenticity as key characteristics. A life where I’m building a future past to look back on filled with love and belonging.